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Have you ever felt like you’re meant for more, but you’re too busy overthinking every little thing? Like, you wanna take that risk, but your brain is out here like, “Sis, what if we fail? What if we look dumb? What if we end up back at square one eating struggle meals?”   Yeah. Been there. But let me tell you something: playing it safe is a scam.   So, one day, I said forget it and finally took a leap of faith. And whew, baby, let me tell you… it was a ride.   (If you want raw honesty, chaos, and life lessons without the boring motivational speaker energy, subscribe to my newsletter, you won’t regret it!)   The “Oh Hell Nah, This Is Real” Moment   I remember the exact second it hit me—I really did this. No backup plan, no safety net, just me and a dream. At first, I was hyped: “Yes! We out here, making moves!”   But then reality pulled up like, “Aight, so what’s the plan?” And that’s when the panic set in: • Wait… am I even good at this? • What if I flop? PUBLICLY?? • Do I even have an audience?   But here’s the thing: If I didn’t at least try, I’d be stuck wondering what if for the rest of my life. And honestly, that was scarier than failing.   Fear is a Scam, Don’t Let It Finesse You   Fear will have you out here playing small like you don’t have main character energy. It’ll have you convinced that failing is worse than staying stuck. But let me put you on game: 1. Everybody is winging it. I don’t care how put-together they look, they had no clue at first either. 2. You’re gonna fail at something, so what? Fail forward . Every L is just a lesson. 3. You are way more capable than you give yourself credit for. Look at everything you’ve already survived. You got this.   So, What’s the Move?   If you’ve been waiting for a sign, THIS. IS. IT. That dream? That goal? That move you’ve been overthinking? DO IT. Broke, scared, unsure, do it anyway.   And if you want more unruly talk, lessons learned, and a few laughs while we figure this life thing out, subscribe to my newsletter ! It’s free, it’s lit, and I promise I won’t spam you (too much).

If you don’t have nothing nice to say Keep your words to yourself. You spend too much time harboring resentment for people who are unable to accept your words without waging for war. Once more. What position do you have to put yourself in to be ultimately uncomfortable? Missionary with no protection? How selfish are people who want you to see everything they see.. ..feel everything they feel.. ..and make every move they make with no attempt to turn the tables of perception? I’d rather upset your ears with my silence than disrupt them with my mentions. My brain bubbles can be unkind at times but honesty is my only intention. Trust seems unattainable, unimaginable. Crying over things that used to be laughable. Walking away slow is a no go You gotta run And if your habits send you to hell At least have fun I tried so hard but.. Words hurt a lot more when you feel the force behind them. My words come fully loaded but it takes no time to find them. And somehow you feel you picked them fresh out of my head so you twist them like your locs. I’m always stuck wondering if this is finally the finale. So I’m hardly ever shocked. I’ve braced myself so much my heart is not amused. Bored. Annoyed. Conflicted. And confused. If you don’t have anything nice to say keep your damn words to yourself. Let lost minds wonder what was unsaid because when your words move mountains they aren’t heard, they’re felt. -Kilo

Whatever the case my sight is far from impaired yet my comprehension is right on the money. Honey. I’m tired. I’ve given all that’s left of me without even trying to replenish my soul. Let’s just go. But unlike a one way bus ticket, my energy is indeed transferable with no cost. Sometimes I’m lost before I’m found again. I’m up! But I know I’ll be down again. Sad show and I’m playin the clown again, unfortunately. To others it’s enough, But I always wanted more for me. I can’t sleep with out a premonition & waking up with doubled vision To know what’s right and what’s spite True Story Every time I try to rest I get a weird feeling in my chest It’s alarming for someone like me Who sleeps and dreams so effortlessly What’s on your heart or in your head What’s keeping you awake in bed I've seen it all in my dreams before my hands could ever reach out. My heart was so inviting but my head was screaming KEEP OUT! -kilo

I’m done with overthinking And awkward social shrinking I never knew how lost I’d feel I never wanted to feel this way STOP STOP STOP Take those feelings to the curb They won’t mean anything here. There’s nothing left that you can’t bare I promise you. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this A true love from someone that will never leave Self love It’s an indescribable type of success you feel when you know You just know. What is heartache if it hasn’t taught you a thing or two about the heart? I know mine is racing. Obsessed with success. Upset and depressed i never felt amused When I’m always so easily entertained. Don’t be my inspiration You’ve become the reason I’m somehow lost in my thoughts Let’s change this situation and imitate our souls as they mingle peacefully into who know’s where. Who goes there? A place nobody knows Somebody goes And my body flows as ours… -kilo

I NEED A SUGAR DADDY!!! Somebody that’s consistent with my money. Not the type to trip off shit I post, and get to acting funny. My homie said “oh you wanna dummy that’s OK with you using him” And I’m like “hold up bro you act as if I’m financially abusing him” Because if he’s wealthy Then shit, it’s healthy! Especially since I’ll invest it and bring him back a lil blessin But he’s like “nah sis that’s bum behavior, you’re an independent queen” and I’m like “I get what you mean but what’s wrong with him financing my dreams” …if he can afford to. Yeah, I’m independent …but I want more too!! And now I’m stuck with this debate. So queens tell me, can y’all relate? -kilo 8 August 2021

It’s tragic. I’m just tryna survive and you in my ear asking for demographics Please don’t be that guy. You know him. The one that sees the beauty in her face but not the pain in her eyes It’s ALWAYS more than words with me He goes “hey sexy” immediately sexualizing my exterior while not giving a damn about my mental That shit URKS me I’m straight though I’ll leave him on read Leaving everything unsaid To prevent a disastrous confrontation because next time I won’t hold my tongue I might just load the gun and let you have it I've been told I go from Juicy to Who Shot Ya It's so damn tragic. Be safe though 😘 -kilo October 6, 2020

See I prayed for you and you preyed on me WE are NOT the same They say love wins, but they don’t tell you that love is not even in the game. There’s so much stress that comes with regret and I’m not ready to take that on. Love and revenge can’t live in the same space can they? c’mon I always wanted more from love than it could ever give. Because of this I’ll never miss a chance at being alone. I could never be lonely they way they’re preying on me in the field. Alone is HOME Be real I’m not prey anymore. I’m prayed up. -kilo 18 October 2019

Do you hear me? I allowed my heart to speak for me when my mouth couldn’t find the words to say. My mind wasn’t invited. This conversation was for us. But it turned it into you. Nothing new. But did you hear me? I wanna say you normally do. But that’d be false. Your words are untrue, to me. Facts shouldn’t be opinions, correct. Correct me if I’m wrong, but communication is key. Well it is for me. You say you listen to every word i say, but are you hearing what was unsaid? It was loud and clear. Right here, in your face. For your eyes to see. Yet it surprises me, when you ask me to elaborate. As if you couldn’t see MY face. So do you hear me? -kilo 2 December 2018

November 29, 2018 All the good and bad Nerves of every body within I’m hurting and it’s helping But I’m randomly writing from wires and wires Words come to me and i don’t know what they mean I express them best when I’m in a Best Western Just let it out let it all out I’m feeling blurred. What from? I’m unsure but i know that I’m in a better mood When i feel hurt i feel like a burden. I’m always hurt. I’m sensitive. As fuck. But I’m true. The universe held me up really high. Don’t blow my high. I’m born to shine. From that i rise. Hold me down don’t hold me up. My Goddess always shows me up. Shine in me My inner Queen My inner me -kilo

This love shit is all a test 6LACK probably said that shit best “I’m tryna work it out but we got a disconnect” I’m feeling like if we’re having "fuck it" contest You know, on who can pretend "not to care" best. Whew Chile, I’ll pass. Normally that’s my thing But why is trust so scarce and our "crazy" is brilliantly displayed. It’s a lot harder to accept the things we dish out, isn’t it? Wait wait wait Is my spoon really much bigger than yours? Or do we not dish the same serving sizes? I honestly don’t want to spend too much time stressing over the “goes around comes around” Nor the back and forth Or the who deserves what So let’s skip this We slowly started talking less. Communicating less. I swear it’s the worst, But it may be for the best. I mean I’m overthinking Without understanding There’s no attempt when I’m this demanding. I swear to bob i wanna push you away But there’s tears on my face as i beg you to stay. Don’t tell me that I’m tripping Don’t tell me how to feel Don’t tell me you’ll do better Just tell me somethin real. Love is a suicide mission. I’m tired of wondering. I don’t like how comfortable you are not speaking to me for hours leading to days. I have this strong urge to make you feel as unimportant as you’ve been making me feel lately. But you wouldn't even notice. Probably wouldn’t care. I want to trust you so badly. But theres bullshit in the air. Nothing you do helps. Nothing i do helps. So say something back, What is it I lack? Are these unwanted words. My mind is screaming, I thought i was dreaming, Til you recited what i heard. The disconnection. -kilo October 31, 2018

Lost I lost myself in US For me US was all about U cuz I was all about U Don’t get me wrong, I love me too But all of US was all of U. Pain? Stress? Headaches? What’s that? Nothing was too hard to bounce back! Love drug? Fuck that. It’s crack. I don’t have nothing left to give you. Suck me dry is what you’ve done. Fuck a light, you were the sun. But I’ve always been comfortable in darkness. Shit, I can’t even act surprised. Shit, I won’t even tell no lies… This shit is toxic. You’d want this love for your best friends. But wouldn’t wish this hurt on your worse fuckin enemies. But fuck crying though, I’m good. That’s what you said right? Yeah, you were right for sure. Won’t catch me fall, slip, or land no more. It’s time to move on. I had an epiphany ☝🏾 Instead of telling myself I can never be happy without US.. Do that shit for the bitch who would doubt US! Fuck instability and insecurity. Fuck baby will you wait for me. Fuck you have no right to be mad. Fuck all of that shit that we had. Fuck US. Find Me. It’s time baby. -kilo 8 February 2017